Cinéma à trois: A Thanksgiving Day at the Theater

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Four Christmases (Seth Gordon, 2008)
Rating:
63/100
This movie was as bad as I was expected, but as long as the screenwriter was going to make it suck, at least they had enough decency to make it terrible in a way I didn't expect.

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Transporter 3 (Olivier Megaton, 2008)
Rating: 72/100
Knowing that this movie couldn't be worse than Transporter 2, and hoping it would be better than Four Christmases, but not having any expectations after lukewarm reviews, this film surprisingly delivered.

A shirtless Jason Statham? Check.
Great action/chase scenes? Check. One was even so good I clapped!!
A cute yet harmless twist that keeps the movie going? Check.

So there's this government guy that is threatened by the bad guy. And the government guy finds out the bad guy's name is "Johnson" right? And in the next scene, Jason Statham's phone (who can only receive and dial to the bad guy) says JOHNSON on the caller ID. Now, the bad guy wouldn't want Jason Statham to know his name even if the government guy and the audience does. But the audience isn't stupid. We know the only call he's going to get is from Johnson aka THE BAD GUY. So this seems to be a weird flaw. The other thing is when the "girl" won't tell Jason her name throughout the whole entire movie. And suddenly he starts calling her Valentina.

Those are the only problems I had with the movie. The rest was great. I didn't even realize till the end credits, but it was co-written with Luc Besson! Great stuff here. And it was a pleasure to watch.

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Twilight (Catherine Hardwicke, 2008)
Rating: 73/100
And then came the vampire movie. This was better than I was expecting. The cool thing to say is that only 14 or 15 year old girls will like this movie. I suppose I could be an emotionally held back adult who enjoys stuff meant for 15 year old girls, but that's besides the point. The movie was crafted well, was fun, and had good acting.

Yeah, Edward Cullen sort of looked effeminate and goth. I mean seriously, was that lipstick he was wearing the whole time?

But everyone knows that vampires aren't supposed to go into the light and that the sun burns their skin. This movie kind of turns the vampire genre on its head, inventing new rules.

I had even forgotten my initial excuse for seeing the movie by the time the film was over: a woman directed this. Catherine Hardwicke of Thirteen fame. In addition, a woman wrote the screenplay and a woman wrote the book this film was based on. Whoa, whoa! Estrogen overload! All in a very good way.

So don't go see this movie unless you're a 14 year-old girl. Because unless you become like a child, forget it!

Comments

Nostalgia Kinky said…
I loved the first TRANSPORTER and was disappointed with the second so I was pleased to find how much I enjoyed the new one. These Besson scripted and produced Euro Co-Productions are just so much fun and Statham is always such a pleasure to watch...by the way, I just discovered your blog and have added a link for you at Moon in the Gutter.
Allison M. said…
Thanks Jeremy. Welcome to my world! I have added your delightful blog as well.
Will Errickson said…
I didn't even that the Twilight books were actual, you know, books when I saw them in the bookstore; I thought they were just little gifty-book-Gothy-box decorations teenage girls decorated their rooms with. I had no idea there were actual words inside them. Ugh. I guess nobody want no dusty old Anne Rice novels anymore, huh?

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