Monopoly - the movie!

Ridley Scott has been developing Monopoly the movie for over a year now. I have to question what's taking him so long to figure everything out, because I came up with a solid summary for the movie.
You know the funny thing is that I see exactly how Ridley Scott should make Monopoly. He should base it on the plot to Transformers. Instead of good and bad transformers they could be good and bad real estate agents. And Shia LaBoeuf is like "omg I got all these monopolies and now I have Park Place. I've just gotta get Boardwalk." and Megan Fox the hot chick could be like "omg I don't know how we're going to get it against Donald Trump." And Shia's like, "well he may have money and smarts, but we have determination." And they're like about to make an offer on Boardwalk but Donald Trump sends his assassins out to get them. they elude the assassins Bourne style and then they're about to close the deal when they have to hide out at Shia's Mom & Dad's and grab a few beers and stuff. And Megan keeps acting hot and beating up the assassins, and there's a cool freeway scene Die Hard 4-style.

And then after some James Bond poker style rant that Shia gives that makes no sense but sounds way too cool to be wrong they some how snag Boardwalk and live happily ever after. They donate their purple properties to charity and sail off in their yacht going out into the sunset.

But now that everyone foresees that Megan Fox won't be hot after Diablo Cody's new script proved to be sucky, they'll get Evan Rachel Wood. And now that Shia broke his hand, they'll get some douche like Jim Sturgess. Oh shoot, that's the cast for
Across the Universe. Oh well, modern day audiences will eat crap like this up. Maybe we can throw in a few musical numbers and it will be the next Moulin Rouge...
Maybe it's not fair for Ridley, because my background is in screenwriting and I just happened to be listening to Donald Trump's book-on-tape Think Like a Billionaire (not to mention that Monopoly was my favorite board-game growing up because I was kind of a geek). But whatever the case, it shouldn't be taking Ridley Scott this long. I wonder if I should offer to help him out?

Oh, and if anyone begs me, I will write and post the Shia/James Bond/Monopoly speech. I might write the movie anyway and change the character names and of course infuse my own originality into it, and no one would ever know... because unfortunately, I am not Pamela Pettler. I can't believe someone else was hired to write the script!! Oh no.


Anonymous said…
I'm very curious to see that Shia/Bond/Monopoly speech... very curious. Sad how actors/plots do get recycled. I do agree with your points made in the blog. But Diablo Cody I feel will still has some solid scripts in her. Some feel that JUNO was it. That was the 'fluke'. I don't think so. Only time will tell.

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